The Philippine Onion

Lies and half-truths shall set you free

Forum: Sex, politics, and the Filipino

Posted by commiedyan on November 11, 2007

In this roundtable discussion, frequently asked questions (FAQs-in this case no one would fault you for pronouncing it fuck you) about Filipino sexuality, PTO commissioned Dolly Carvajal to discuss with Margie Holmes and Dr. Aidan No persistent myths about sexuality in the Philippines. The discussion was held in our backyard during lunch break over the weekend.

Dolly: Let me dispense with the easy questions first. Is masturbation immoral? Will you grow hair at the back of your hands? Will you go to hell?

Dr. No: No. Those beliefs were first popularized by Rep. Teddyboy Locsin in the nineties. He has long since clarified that he was only joking and that he was taunted by his granddad. Hell, no. Have you seen his hands?
Dolly: But the Vatican…

Dr. No: No. Just interview the laundrywomen in the Vatican…

Margie: It depends on your perception of hell.

Dr. No: No, Margie, think about this. If young boys and girls thought they’d go to hell by overdoing it, they’d overdo it even more, don’t you think?

Margie: I guess you’re right.

Dolly: Do you think we should legalize gay marriage?

Dr. No: No. Marriage should be banned, homosexual or otherwise. Marriage is anathema to romance because this is rooted in property relations. Real love should be beyond that.

Margie: I tend to agree with that, though couples should really think it over before tying the knot.

Dr. No: No. Around their necks?

Dolly: Can we now go to sex and politics in the country, specifically, Gloria and Erap?

Dr. No: No. We already discussed that in the beginning of the interview.

Margie: Aidan, are we still on for tonight?

Dr. No: No.

(to be continued, we encourage readers to submit questions through the comments box below)

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One Response to “Forum: Sex, politics, and the Filipino”

  1. Приветствую всех!
    У меня такой вопрос,кто что интересное подскажет буду признателен.
    Мы с друзьями собираемся поехать в круиз по просторам России и ближнего зарубежья месяца на два на своих машинах,но не как не можем согласовать маршрут,если у кого уже был опыт такого путешествия,может,что посоветуете.Девчонок с собой не берем,думаем,что во все городах России с этим не будет проблем,если у кого будут рекомендации и в вопросе отдыха с девушками тоже буду признателен.

    С уважением Сеньчик

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