The Philippine Onion

Lies and half-truths shall set you free

Archive for November 17th, 2007

Catholic hierarchy rethinks stand on annulment, divorce

Posted by commiedyan on November 17, 2007

The Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) is set to ask the Vatican to change the rules on annulment and to consider allowing divorce in the Philippines, the only Catholic country where it is still banned.

The CBCP, in its latest conclave had reviewed the rising cases of frustrated suicides and parricides involving spouses trying to escape the hell of their marriages.

In their letter to the Vatican, the Philippine bishops recommended that suicide and parricide survivors should be granted automatic permission for annulment. It also said the Holy See should review its description of ‘psychological incapacity’ defined by the Philippine Supreme Court, seen by many as a covert branch of the Church, as inability to qualify for heaven.

The CBCP also cited rising cases of infidelity, as reported by Manuel Buencamino, nos corresponsal en Roma.

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Posted in breaking news, briefly noted, religion | Tagged: , , , , , | 12 Comments »

Stephen Colbert takes prez bid to new American heartland: the Philippines

Posted by commiedyan on November 17, 2007

With his campaign as an independent sputtering, US presidential candidate Stephen Colbert is taking bolder steps. He is due to arrive in Manila to take his case to one of the fastest growing voter bases in the USA.

To be on the ballot come November 2008, Colbert has to have at least 51% of potential electoral votes. Thus far, he has pledges only from California and New York city, less than a fourth of what’s required. With millions of Filipinos waiting for visas and green cards, they are Colbert’s hope for 2008 and beyond.

Jessica Zafra, campaign manager in Manila, told TPO Colbert will kick off his campaign with a book tour for Colbert’s I’m American, and So Can You, a subliminal invitation for illegal Filipino immigrants otherwise known as the explosive TNT (tago ng tago).

Zafra told us she first has to ensure the book would be classified under politics in Fully Booked and National Bookstore branches instead of comedy. She recalled that local book stores classified Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s Love in the Time of Cholera under medicine years ago.

Jessica gained local fame after predicting Filipinos would some day come to dominate the USA and then the world. She has since been protesting to local fans that she never set a timetable.

Meanwhile, Ely Pamatong, local US statehood advocate, has been badmouthing Zafra to Colbert, saying a faster route would be to change the Philippine constitution under a new federal framework, with the support of Malacañang.

Read TPO’s analysis by Inodoro Nila on Monday.

Posted in breaking news, foreign affairs, politics | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Amid rising violence, UP mulls conversion of fraternities into sororities

Posted by commiedyan on November 17, 2007

Dismissing howls of protest from homophobes, UP regents and the student council in Diliman are seriously considering the proposal of the gay community on campus (Gayups) to have all fraternities converted into sororities. Fraternities that resist conversion are to be banned or abolished. Gayups spokesperson Dante Remate told TPO it was high time to fight destructive machismo which breeds senseless violence with efforts to bring men closer to “their inner woman.”

A spate of inter-fraternity rumbles and fatal cases of hazing has rocked the Diliman campus that have largely remained unsolved, leading former senate president Jovito Salonga to resign from his UP fraternity.

While the sisterhood of men is still a distant dream, UP is as good a place as any to start realizing it, Remate said.

Posted in briefly noted, education | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »