The Philippine Onion

Lies and half-truths shall set you free

Stephen Colbert takes prez bid to new American heartland: the Philippines

Posted by commiedyan on November 17, 2007

With his campaign as an independent sputtering, US presidential candidate Stephen Colbert is taking bolder steps. He is due to arrive in Manila to take his case to one of the fastest growing voter bases in the USA.

To be on the ballot come November 2008, Colbert has to have at least 51% of potential electoral votes. Thus far, he has pledges only from California and New York city, less than a fourth of what’s required. With millions of Filipinos waiting for visas and green cards, they are Colbert’s hope for 2008 and beyond.

Jessica Zafra, campaign manager in Manila, told TPO Colbert will kick off his campaign with a book tour for Colbert’s I’m American, and So Can You, a subliminal invitation for illegal Filipino immigrants otherwise known as the explosive TNT (tago ng tago).

Zafra told us she first has to ensure the book would be classified under politics in Fully Booked and National Bookstore branches instead of comedy. She recalled that local book stores classified Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s Love in the Time of Cholera under medicine years ago.

Jessica gained local fame after predicting Filipinos would some day come to dominate the USA and then the world. She has since been protesting to local fans that she never set a timetable.

Meanwhile, Ely Pamatong, local US statehood advocate, has been badmouthing Zafra to Colbert, saying a faster route would be to change the Philippine constitution under a new federal framework, with the support of Malacañang.

Read TPO’s analysis by Inodoro Nila on Monday.

One Response to “Stephen Colbert takes prez bid to new American heartland: the Philippines”

  1. I agree. Thanks for your great articles.

    Please include my blog to your Blogroll.

    Will also give your blog a link. Salamat ulit.

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