The Philippine Onion

Lies and half-truths shall set you free

RP offers technical, financial assistance to World Bank to stem corruption within its ranks

Posted by commiedyan on November 20, 2007

Manila—The Philippine government yesterday offered the World Bank wide-ranging technical and financial assistance to stem corruption within the ranks of the multilateral aid agency. This development came on the heels of the suspension of a $232M road maintenance and improvement project allegedly due to an internal row within the WB itself.

Bank officials monitoring the deal could not agree on their shares of the kickbacks, according to Cerge Remonde, chief of the presidential management staff. “Sharing is part of our expertise and culture and we have offered them our assistance so we can finally move on,” he told TPO.

In regard to transparency and accountability, Remonde protested: “If not for executive privilege, our alleged president is even willing to make her diaries public…I’ve seen them you know. She crosses all the P’s and S’s from her husband’s activities.”

“Huh? Corruption? In the Philippines?” public works and highways secretary Hermogenes Ebdane Jr. asked sarcastically. Isn’t that the same institution that kicked out its own president because of ethics violations? Ebdane was referring to Bush crony Paul Wolfowitz, now desperately trying to get a fellowship in Stanford amid protests by faculty and students.

“Let them go after the big fish first,” Ebdane added. “Which country launched an overpriced rocket program just to get the to the moon when Filipino engineers could easily have designed and built a bridge at a tenth of the cost?”

Finance secretary Margarito Teves also recalled April meetings in Washington where he “was briefed about the inquiry then being conducted by the bank’s internal investigations unit, the Department of Institutional Integrity (INT).” At the time, Teves was sending a series of e-mails to TPO complaining how bank officials mistreated him. “Can you imagine? They were having steak and wine while I was chewing on chicken feet and sipping Zesto juice my daddy packed for me?”

On allegations of collusion among bidders. budget secretary Rolando Andaya Jr. said this had been a practice encouraged by the administration to make its loyalists happy. “Why is the WB complaining only now?”

Justice secretary Raul Gonzales told TPO he was considering filing a suit against WB officials for undue vexation, especially if Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago becomes chief of the International Court of Justice. “Otherwise, I’ll let them eat my discarded and sauteed kidneys.”

Meanwhile, Anna Marie Nemenzo, president of the Freedom from Debt Coalition, which celebrates its 20th anniversary tomorrow, said the Philippines should just stop borrowing if it wants to avoid being humiliated by arrogant officials of multilateral lending agencies.

Filomeno Sta. Ana III of Action for Economic Reforms said his group was still trying to secure funds from unnamed foundations for the establishment of a comprehensive mental health improvement program open to government and non-government organizations. “Buang silang tanan bay (they’re all loonies),” he told TPO.

10 Responses to “RP offers technical, financial assistance to World Bank to stem corruption within its ranks”

  1. WillyJ said

    Let WB eat its $232M. As if they are the only ones who can lend us money. hmmph! Why, we can always get a loan anytime from ZTE, much bigger even – and no questions asked.

  2. Just love it!

    I’ve learned to eat onions for breakfast hah!

  3. commiedyan said

    O ano WillyJ? Ilang shares gusto mo? We’ll give you a .05% special discount on the IPO

  4. commiedyan said

    Next time you’re in Manila, I’ll cook you paella con mariscos de onionista.

  5. WillyJ said

    “Gonzalez likewise said the World Bank was not ‘sacrosanct.'”

    The (in)justice secretary seems to be back in top form, taking a gleeful swipe at WB’s Wolfowitz and his girlfriend. Good thing what kept him out temporarily was just his kidneys,
    I thought for a while there he finally underwent a lobotomy.

    Commiedyan, just maybe I’ll call you on that IPO discount, if only TPO would get Gonzales as a regular contributor.
    That should boost the stock.

  6. manuelbuencamino said

    well, and this is no fake news, Larry Mendoza, when asked why Gloria changed her mind on BOT to go back to borrowing said, it’s because the country’s financial position is healthy enough for us to start borrowing again.

  7. commiedyan said

    I don’t know if you were in the country in 1986 or 1987 Manuel, but I remember an official (I think with DOTC), defending his purchase of a P60,000 swivel chair, explained “After all, we’re a rich country pretending to be poor.”

  8. Abloy D'akog Tomoy said

    Wasn’t it a housing official who bought a Nissan Maxima?

  9. commiedyan said

    I remember as swivel chair. But maybe the guy also bought a Maxima. Was that a luxury then?

  10. […] ripe again; we’re going publicBBC’s Tim Sebastian rejects ANC offer, paving way for Dean BocoboaboutRP offers technical, financial assistance to World Bank to stem corruption within its ranksCebu businessman sues guv’s brother for P10 M in damagesControversial Standard columnist bags 2 […]

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