The Philippine Onion

Lies and half-truths shall set you free

Archive for December 1st, 2007

Math lessons for Vic Mangosteen;business lessons from Danding Co(co)juangco

Posted by commiedyan on December 1, 2007

eduardo-cojuangco-jr.jpg

by Henry C. Bollas

Here’s the fruity Vic Mangosteen:

“EDUARDO Cojuangco Jr. borrowed P374 million from Cocobank to acquire the EnriqueZobel block in San Miguel Corp. in December 1983. As of yesterday’s market close, that 20 percent block, which paved the way for Cojuangco to eventually control the region’s largest food, beverage and packaging complex, was already worth about P18.8 billion, representing a 50-fold return in 24 years. Stated another way, Cojuangco saw his original investment, even during his exile years following the Marcos ouster, double every year.”

“San Miguel was trading at P22 a share when the hush-hush sale was being negotiated; Zobel, for still unknown reasons, did not seek any premium from Cojuangco for his block, according to the book, Boss Danding, by Earl G. Parreno.”

Hey thanks for the lesson Mangosteen, but your math is wrong and perhaps your politics is even Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted in business, economics, people, politics, Roxas watch | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The strange humor of Queena Lee

Posted by commiedyan on December 1, 2007

by Old Spice
“Did you hear the joke about the man who was proud when he completed a jigsaw within 30 minutes? After all, it said ‘five to six years’ on the box.”
Self-made man: Where are you from? Harvard graduate: I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions. Self-made man: Okay, where are you from, jackass (ass supplied by TPO editors)—?”

We should really refrain from making fun of other people’s jokes (see note below), or of people telling jokes, but those in Queena Lee Chua’s Inquirer column Saturday and the fact she was telling them is really funny. That’s because she wasn’t really joking. In fact, she was discussing the scientific basis of humor. And we find that funny. But you really should read it for yourself.

“Why do these jokes make us laugh (or at least smile)? In his bestselling book “Quirkology,” multiawarded British behavioral psychologist Richard Wiseman says that, many jokes have one thing in common—they make us feel superior. This arises because the person in the joke (like the man with the jigsaw) or a pompous figure (like the Harvard graduate) looks foolish, which by the way, is one reason politicians are often the butt of jokes.”

Queena Lee, no relation to Annabel Lee nor Christopher Lee, is married Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in education, people, politics, Roxas watch | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

What did Mr. Eisenberg want from Mrs. Clinton?

Posted by commiedyan on December 1, 2007

The most obvious answer is advice on how to overcome depression caused by marital troubles. The police handled the incident well and none of the hostages were harmed. Neither was Mr. Leeland Eisenberg.

Here’s the story from NYT.

Posted in foreign affairs, police blather, politics, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »