The Philippine Onion

Lies and half-truths shall set you free

Magdalo offer $100 reward for ‘kick me out’ sticker on Arroyo

Posted by commiedyan on December 2, 2007

by Mon Tofu

Responding to the government’s offer of P1 million for information aiding the capture of renegade Capt. Nicanor Faeldon, the underground Magdalo, composed of active and inactive military officers, has offered its own reward: $100 for any overseas Filipino worker who could tack a ‘kick me out sign’ on Gloria Arroyo’s back during her seven-day visit to Europe. In addition, the OFW would also be entitled to $100 worth of mobile phone credits available for global roaming.

The most recent rebel military adventure has drawn mixed reactions in the country and worldwide. Those arrested are still awaiting a decision by the justice department on whether the charges filed by police have probable cause. Faeldon has been charged in absentia.

The Philippine Daily Inquirer quoted Arroyo’s statement before she left last night: “I hereby direct all our government departments and agencies, especially our security and defense forces, to remain vigilant and flush out any remaining threats to national security and public safety in the country, while at the same time restoring among our people a state of normalcy and calm.”

According to Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago, the Magdalo reward comes from the Makati Business Club, and the phone credit was pledged by Globe Telecoms, lending credence, she said, to suspicions that the coup plotters are being financed by big business. She also called Oplan Peninsula a “harebrained idea hatched by narcissistic fungus-faced attention-grabbing lollipop-sucking nonbreast-fed amateurs.” We tried but failed to reach MBC executive director Bertie Lim for comment.
“Faeldon left Manila Peninsula disguised as a hotel towel and a certain Corporal Colon, an employee of the Makati city government, was disguised as a head louse hiding in the towel,” national police chief Avelino Razon told TPO. For some reason, Razon said, two others were able to climb inside Ces Drilon’s pockets. Drilon, veteran anchor and reporter for ABS-CBN, and looking like the lovely hippie wife of Dennis Kucinich with her bandana, has been suspected of being sympathetic to the military rebels.

“While patriotic overseas Filipinos do not really need a cash inducement, we still want to show our appreciation,” according to Magdalo para sa pagbabago.

This is not the first time administration critics have resorted to childish pranks to vent their frustration. Even the Central Intelligence Agency revealed that some Malacañang staffers had been arrested and dismissed for disrespect.

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3 Responses to “Magdalo offer $100 reward for ‘kick me out’ sticker on Arroyo”

  1. Nonoy said

    — > Expel Tonyo Trillanes From The Senate Online Petition at http://www.petitiononline.com/xpel2nyo/petition.html

  2. kate said

    It’s obvious naman which side si Ces Drilon.

  3. pinagtataka ko lang kung bakit wala pa ring tawag mula kay capt faeldon sa kanyang mga lawyers. kadudaduda kasi maaring nahuli na si capt faeldon at itinatago ito ng militar, para ang militar dun kukuha ng impormasyon kay capt faeldon sa pamamagitan ng torture. kasi kung sakaling laya sya dapat nakipag communicate na ito sa kanyang lawyer. pero possibleng laya rin sya at nag iingat lang sa mga gagawing trap ng militar gaya ng pag trace ng mga calls. maaring gumagawa na sya ng paraan ngayon upang maka usap ang senador trillanes at ang lawyer nya.

    umaasa kami na nasa mabuting kalagayan ka kapitan! may God be with you always. Susuporta kami sa inyo! mabuhay ang mga bagong katipunero! MAGDALO!

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