The Philippine Onion

Lies and half-truths shall set you free

Cebollas sin lagrimas: gold tumbles on ‘medalla de oro’ award to Arroyo

Posted by commiedyan on December 6, 2007

by Henry C. Bollas

London (via ZTE broadband)–World commodity markets were inundated early today with sell orders for spot and futures gold as the news sunk in of alleged Philippine president Gloria Macapagal Arroyo getting the ‘medalla de oro‘ award Tuesday from the Universidad de Alcala in Madrid. The highest civilian award was conferred allegedly for Arroyo’s “defense of human rights, particularly her role in abolishing the death penalty in the Philippines.”

Que calamidad! Arroyo de lagrimas! (Flood of tears!)” a stock trader at the Bovespa in Madrid said. At the Chicago Mercantile Board, an analyst said “gold has lost half its luster forever.” She revealed hedge funds were dumping gold in favor of oil and onions. Oil prices had begun to slide despite the decision of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries to maintain current production levels, probably because of a recent Japanese invention curtailing demand. Oil bets are now off, the lady said.

While the abolition of the death penalty was welcome, critics said, Arroyo supported it as a maneuver to placate the world’s most conservative Catholic Church, growing restless because of Arroyo’s corruption scandals, and to protect her and her family once she was forced to step down.

A recent report by UN rapporteur on human rights Philip Alston doubted the government’s sincerity in going after violators. But Arroyo claimed in Madrid that more than 100 cases involving political killings are being prosecuted and six persons have been convicted.

Back in Madrid, Pepa Bueno of TVE announced that Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero has been pelted with rotten onions by his comrades in the PSOE for giving Arroyo a bear hug. In the Philippines, the critics cannot be assuaged.

(photo below shamelessly lifted from and courtesy of Uniffors).

7 Responses to “Cebollas sin lagrimas: gold tumbles on ‘medalla de oro’ award to Arroyo”

  1. WillyJ said

    I feel like singing and dancing to the tune of “Livin La Vida Loca”

  2. commiedyan said

    Ola señor. Señora Miriam indefensible Santiago sin ton ni ton. Sin remedio!

    Henry C.

  3. Love your articles! Hahaha!

  4. taroogs said

    que barbaridad talaga ana balita na ito… mana sinverguenza! josefa! dame una cerveza! demehan mo ha?

    – Franco Torquemada

  5. BoyUnan said

    ” oil bets are now off … ” slick

    you dudes should do you tubes

    Henry C. Bollas:We’ll look into that but as of now the fogeys here are strictly low-tech. But thanks for your confidence.

  6. Manila Bay Watch: A Spanish insult to victims of human rights abuse in the Philippines

    Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, human rights champion? What a load of utter and ignoble rubbish! And guess what happened? Cebollas sin lagrimas: gold tumbles on ‘medalla de oro’ award to Arroyo reports the Philippine Onion!

  7. You did a good job on this post that i decided to just create a link on my post titled Arroyo is the Most Corrupt instead of blogging on the subject of medalla de horror errr oro, cheers.

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