The Philippine Onion

Lies and half-truths shall set you free

The Emir of Kuwait’s big fat flat joke almost made Gloria cry

Posted by commiedyan on December 11, 2007

Now that the emir of Kuwait, Sheikh Sabah al-Ahmad al-Sabah, can no longer change his mind about saving Marilou Ranario from the noose, we can tell you the inside story of the crisis in Gloria Arroyo’s own mind. Something the emir whispered to her tested the woman’s determination to leave her legacy as a ‘tough’ leader and to have her place in the dustbin of history.

“I wan’t something in return. Our justice system requires that we hang someone else in her stead, from your party of more than one hundred,” the emir said. “Quick, quick, think, think, think,” Gloria said to herself. In five minutes, the choice had narrowed down to a set of two from among her party of more than one hundred: Miguel Arroyo and Ignacio Bunye.

Miguel, reported by Newsbreak to have masterminded the coverup on the Garci tapes, or Ignacio, who deceived the Malacañang press corps and perjured himself before the House inquiry? Miguel or Ignacio? If Miguel, I will finally be rid of the fat pig. If Ignacio, I no longer need fear he would someday squeal.

The emir’s cough awakened her from her reverie. “How about two, your excellency? But only if you hang them without delay or ceremony,” she announced calmly. “I was just kidding,” said the emir.

It was a testament to Bunye’s loyalty, according to foreign affairs secretary Alberto Romulo, that Bunye quoted the emir to the press as saying: “Normally I don’t interfere in the judicial system, we have a separate judicial process. But I will grant your wish since you have paid me a personal visit.”

On the flight home, Gloria was still dreaming of what could have been, with her party of more than one hundred. (Henry C. Bollas, with the party of more than one hundred).

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One Response to “The Emir of Kuwait’s big fat flat joke almost made Gloria cry”

  1. […] 24 to January 2 next year are official special holidays, Malacañang loudmouth Ignacio Bunye, who recently cheated death in Kuwait, announced yesterday. Assuaging concerns on lost productivity however, the national government has […]

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