The Philippine Onion

Lies and half-truths shall set you free

Ignore this at your own loss

Posted by commiedyan on December 14, 2007

Dear reader,

I have good news for you. Ignore this letter at your own loss, because this isn’t one of the scams the Central Bank has recently warned against as you will see if you read on.

First of all, while I promise you millions, how quickly you get the money is entirely up to you and the effort you put in the endeavor; this isn’t a scheme to turn iron into gold, or water into wine. Secondly, I am not asking you for any personal information such as your bank account or postal address. Instead I will give you mine.

Until recently, I was a respected civil servant in my god-forsaken country. After spending close to two years on a project which would have benefited my countrymen, I was persecuted and forced to resign. I have been reflecting on what happened and have come to the conclusion there is still hope. Now that the sourgrapes and pretenders to morality in my country have been silent on my case, I see that this is an opportune time to revive the project I had worked on with all sincerity and with only the best of intentions for my country.

Recently, one of my partners in the botched deal won a big, big contract in the power sector. A deal worth more than ten times the value of the project I was brokering and also with a Chinese group. Now I see that there are the usual suspects raising the usual tiring suspicions. But what evidence do they really have? Nada. Tengo razon? Si!

Now, what am I asking you to do? I will tell you in person if you contact me at the address or phone number below.

Yours in service to the Lord,

Benjamin Abalos
Wack Wack Golf and Country Club
Mandaluyong City
Tel: 0917-8470765
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One Response to “Ignore this at your own loss”

  1. manuelbuencamino said

    I am so disappointed, I thought he would tell me “meron ka rin 200 dito” . Tell him to call me when he has my 200.

    Sure thing Manuel. By the way, we promised you a joint and have not forgotten.—Onionista

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