The Philippine Onion

Lies and half-truths shall set you free

Statistics office drafts new guidelines on opinion surveys

Posted by commiedyan on December 14, 2007

On direct orders of Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, who has been unjustly accused of being the most corrupt president in Philippine history, the National Statistics Office has issued guidelines on the conduct of opinion surveys so these would no longer be based on ungrounded perceptions but on verifiable facts.

Our source at the NSO refused to provide us a copy of the draft but she explained the thrust of the document to us. In effect, survey organizations like Pulse Asia and Social Weather Stations would have to design the questionnaires to aid respondents in forming facts-based opinions. For example, in the matter of presidential corruption, the following yes or no questions could be suggested:

  1. Has the president ever given you a loot bag containing P500,000? P200,000? P50,000?
  2. Has an official close to the president offered you US $10M to withdraw from a government project?
  3. Have you ever submitted a bid for a government project?
  4. Are you a congressman?
  5. Are you a governor or mayor?
  6. Are you a friend of the president?
  7. Have you ever been the subject of an impeachment complaint?
  8. Have you ever talked to Garci?
  9. Is Gloria Macapagal Arroyo the president?

It is hoped that, in this case, the memory of the respondent would be juggled enough for her or him to give a ‘correct opinion.’ If the answer to all the above questions is no, then the respondent would presumably say no to the question: “Is your president corrupt?”

In a related development, TPO has learned that Malacañang contracted SWS to conduct a survey similar to that conducted by Pulse Asia (and paid for by Serge Osmeña III) and with the same sample size and virtually the same questions. The only difference is that the respondents were given a sack of rice, one kilo of pork, one kilo of dried fish, and a 2008 calendar with a pinup of Mrs. Arroyo, just before the interview.

Mahar Mangahas told us the results were virtually the same as that of Pulse Asia. This explains why the results were never made public. (Old Spice)

4 Responses to “Statistics office drafts new guidelines on opinion surveys”

  1. Amusing survey questions …

    “with a pinup of Mrs. Arroyo, just before the interview.”


    Wearing a kulambo?

  2. WillyJ said

    Lies, damned lies, and statistics. They’re all the same. If we don’t like the survey results, all we have to do is change the levels of confidence.

  3. taroogs said

    we can add another question: “have you ever covered up for any questionable act done by members of your immediate family?”

  4. […] captives freedControversial Standard columnist bags 2 honors in Catholic Mass Media Awards (GE)Statistics office drafts new guidelines on opinion surveysToward a new generation of Filipino […]

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