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Archive for the ‘analysis’ Category

Hillary’s camp panics, links Barack to ZTE scam in the Philippines

Posted by commiedyan on February 12, 2008

Victor Woodward

Smarting from recent losses in key primaries, Hillary Clinton has not only replaced her campaign manager but has also instructed her lieutenants to start a new smear job against Barack Obama. This time, Obama is being linked to the ZTE scandal in the Philippines which might lead to the resignation of Gloria Macapagal Arroyo soon.

Clinton staffers are peddling to media that part of the kickback advances by ZTE officials has found its way into Obama’s campaign coffers. How that came to be is the subject an investigative story that is to come out in the New York Times over the weekend.

Obama, however, remains unfazed and claims that Mrs. Arroyo is helping his opponent so she could make a deal should Hillary succeed Bush. “There is no way for Mrs. Arroyo but down…if Hillary wants to go to bed with a corrupt Asian leader, that’s her call,” he said.

(Note: Mr. Woodward of the Washington Pest has recently been appointed as TPO’s contributing editor based in the US capital.) 

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2008 fearless forecasts (1): Mar, Korina to wed with complicated strings attached

Posted by commiedyan on December 24, 2007

(With this we start a series of fearless forecasts for 2008, conclusions from a multi-disciplinary team of astrologists, card-readers, psychics, political scientists, economists, psychologists, physicists, astronomers, archaeologists, microbiologists whom we brought together in a series of Delphi sessions. As usual, we assert that the burden of proof lies with those who disagree with us).

The political consultants of Senator Mar Roxas have long concluded that his romantic involvement with Korina Sanchez is a winner with respect to his chances of bagging the presidency in 2001. For one, they say, it gives him mass appeal. For another, it ‘lays to rest’ doubts about his being a ‘real man.’ We don’t buy that crap, but our experts say the couple will wed late next year, but with a web of complicated strings contained in a prenuptial agreement.

In brief, the two major condition is: If the costs of feigning romance and intimacy outweigh the trappings of political power for Roxas and the influence to be derived by Sanchez, the two will embark on a ‘no-contest’ annulment, with each throwing the charge of psychological incapacity against the other. Our resident psychologist says the case should be a no brainer for the judge, since, she says, the marriage vows are irrefutable proof of psychological incapacity.

Posted in analysis, entertainment, people, politics, special reports | Tagged: , , , | 10 Comments »

San Miguel Foods to Sumilao farmers: “cease to exist!”

Posted by commiedyan on December 11, 2007

The management of San Miguel Foods yesterday asked the Department of Agrarian Reform to issue a ‘cease to exist order‘ (CTO) against the farmers from Sumilao, Bukidnon who have been standing in the way of the company’s grandiose plans to transform all town residents into millionaires by allowing them to market the methane gas from its piggery.

The farmers, who walked for almost two months and 1,700 kilometers from Sumilao to Manila, earlier asked DAR secretary Nasser Pangandaman to issue a ‘cease and desist order‘ (CDO) against San Miguel’s illegal piggery. Last Friday, Pangandaman, asked the parties to submit their respective position papers by Monday so he could finally rule on the matter. We learned that during the farmers’ trek, the DAR secretary was busy picking his nose while counting the lizards on the ceiling that were discussing land reform. Or he could have been dreaming of lechon and dinuguan. Or he was just being cautious about not violationg the human rights of Danding Cojuangco…

So on Human Rights Day yesterday, the farmers, who held that their position and the issues were already well known to the secretary, wanted to humbly comply with the climate changing order. But they were prevented from entering the DAR compound on orders of Pangandaman himself. He would authorize the entry of only the farmers’ lawyers because the farmers were unkempt and he feared violence and that they might not leave etcetera etcetera. But the farmers stood their ground and said they were the claimants and not their lawyers.

There are a few Cebuano words whose meanings cannot be captured in Tagalog or English: Pastilan! Intaon! Lecheng yawa!

Posted in analysis, breaking news, economics, politics, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Drunks have human rights too

Posted by commiedyan on December 9, 2007

Some self-proclaimed leaders of ‘civil’ society have recently appointed themselves guardians of the peace as well. This time they are not after pornography, nor litter bugs, nor gun-toting machos, nor geriatric rapists. They’re raising a hue and cry against drunks, specifically the right of drunks to homeward mobility.

Their concern seems valid at first glance. A man was recently convicted for the killing inside a jeepney of a another man who complained the drunk had been making unwanted advances on his wife. Well, we say good riddance to the killer. But now the guardians of the peace are pushing for a law which bars drunks from getting onto public transport to get home.

So what are drunks to do?

  1. Sleep upright inside one of Bayani Fernando’s pink abominations?
  2. Shack up for the night with a GRO? (some of our friends, like Taroogs, might say that would be an expansion of civil liberties, but we reserve comment).
  3. Walk to another bar and drink some more? (All drunks drink moderately, again and some more).

Well, how about simply driving home? While it is illegal in the Philippines to drive without a license, driving without a car is not, which goes to show just how wise our congressmen are. For as long as they have third party liability insurance, why not? And what possible damage can a drunk driving without a car inflict in a collision Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in analysis, congress, politics | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

On human rights, Arroyo’s on a roll with Christmas parole

Posted by commiedyan on December 6, 2007

by Inodoro Nila

Basking in the afterglow of his boss’s human rights award in Madrid, justice secretary Raul Gonzales yesterday said the parole of former lawmaker Romeo Jalosjos on December 16 or 17 was still possible.

Christmas truly is in the air, despite the whining and bitching of Old Spice and Onionista who wax melancholic over the holiday hues and carols of Decembers past. God damned atheist hippie drunkards!

“After we’ve pardoned plunderers and murderers (including priest killers) and given a Christmas parole to a convicted rapist (of an 11-year-old), what more could Philip Alston possibly want? Golden handcuffs?,” Gonzales railed. “I already stopped Esperon Read the rest of this entry »

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Faking our way to the First World and beyond

Posted by commiedyan on December 5, 2007

by e-kunomista

As Christmas nears, banks and the Central Bank have been deluged by reports of fake currency in circulation. According to ANC’s Charo Logarta, the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP) normally receives about P100,000 worth of fake bills from commercial banks each month. But what about the fake bills which have thus far not been detected? No one really knows. Before the congressional elections this year, fake P1000, 500, and 100 bills were reported to have been used to buy votes. But so what?

Detecting counterfeit

According to currency experts at the central bank, there is a simple way to ascertain genuine and legal tender with a cheap magnifying glass. Just look under the name Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in analysis, business, economics | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Our disappearing civil liberties, or why some liberties are greater than others, especially if you have been forced to disappear

Posted by commiedyan on December 4, 2007

by Onionista

Speaking with her now legendary candor and sincerity, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo said she was sorry about the sorry plight of reporters who had been cuffed and bussed off to Bicutan for ‘processing.’ “I am sorry,” said she as her nose glowed even with the bright lights in the Malacanang press briefing room. Just a few hours later, around 20 million Filipinos were placed under house arrest in Metro Manila and adjacent regions with what former UP law dean Raul Pangalangan said was an unconstitutional 12-5 a.m. curfew. The streets of the capital were eerier than on Good Fridays in a country dominated by nominally devout Catholics. Only the lord, if there is a lord, knows how many agogo dancers, carnappers, akyat-bahay gangsters, hotblooded teenagers, restless and bored husbands, matronas and their dance attorneys, balut vendors, wanderlustful congressmen had their freedom of movement curtailed, with dire consequences not only for the formal and informal sectors of the economy, but also on the freedom-seeking human spirit.

The ubiquitous checkpoints prompted a variation of the second law of cartoon physics: Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until a checkpoint appears, in which case kotong will have to be paid for the body to regain its momentum. If no kotong is paid, the body will disappear until a writ of amparo makes it reappear.

More recently, the Criminal Investigation and Detection Group (CIDG) subpoenaed Maria Ressa of ABS-CBN to investigate the network’s alleged involvement in Oplan Peninsula. The subpoena was served after Malacañang, taking liberties with the word ‘dialogue’ proposed a meeting between the PNP/AFP and the press. Ressa has reportedly sent a conciliatory text message to interior and local government secretary Ronnie Puno: go fuck and talk Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in analysis, congress, foreign affairs, Malacañang, media, security, special reports | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Oplan Peninsula:Rebellion charges to be dropped, civilian captives freed

Posted by commiedyan on December 3, 2007

Rebellion without a clue, rebellion with improbable cause mulled

 

Old Spice with analysis by Inodoro Nila

State prosecutors as of four this morning were considering dropping charges for rebellion and inciting to rebellion filed by the Criminal Investigation and Detection Group (CIDG) against 26 military officers and 24 civilians in connection with the failed Oplan Peninsula. The charges are to be amended to rebellion without a clue for the military and ex-military suspects and rebellion with an improbable cause for the civilians, TPO has learned. But deliberations at the Captain’s Bar at the Manila Pavilion ended without a clear decision, bartenders said.

Journalists ‘invited’ for questioning had earlier been released without charges. The military suspects will also be charged with jaywalking for ignoring green lights in their march from J.P. Rizal to the hotel last Thursday.

The clock run out on the prosecutors 7 a.m. Saturday, according to UP Human Rights Institute executive director Ibarra Gutierrez Jr., and defense lawyers are set to file illegal detention charges against police.

Stung and humiliated by a series of rebuffs by the Supreme Court in related cases in the past two years, state prosecutor Manny Velasco reportedly wants to be more circumspect. He was quoted to be mumbling to himself “If the case is hit and miss, dismiss.” Sources close to the family say he changed after reading the The Prosecution-driven Life by the evangelist Raul Gonzales, whose healthy kidneys recently rebelled against him.

The CIDG is also set to invite Inquirer columnist Patricia Read the rest of this entry »

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Why gasoline prices might suddenly dive

Posted by commiedyan on November 30, 2007

by e-kunomista

It’s really fundamentally a supply and demand thing, with the former not rising as fast as the latter. The major sources of demand growth in the past few years have been China and India. The fast pace of growth in China and the even higher growth in energy consumption has in fact made it the world’s largest emitter of greenhouse gases this year, overtaking the United States.

(We are a bit intrigued by the allusion of the respected economist Ciel Habito to possible price manipulation in the local petroleum market in his latest column in the Philippine Daily Inquirer. It was under his watch in the NEDA that the downstream oil industry was deregulated. Perhaps this is politically motivated).

But oil analysts agree that a big part of demand is speculative, coming from hedge funds trying to find shelter from the falling US$ by buying into commodity futures, minerals, agricultural staple, and oil. In the old days, speculation could be limited by physical storage capacity, but these days what’s influencing prices are futures contracts lodged in code in cyberspace. No need for Mr. and Mrs. Shady to hide oil barrels under the bed.

In normal markets, speculators play a positive role in stabilizing prices because they buy when prices are low and sell when high, thus narrowing the range and reducing volatility. Otherwise they’d lose their underpants if they do the reverse, right? But when a few hedge funds collude, they might be able to keep prices high with their self-fulfilling prophesy. But what feeds speculation are mainly geopolitical and weather-related events. Some researchers say that without the speculative element, prices should be within the $50-60/barrel range. (An earlier body of work of the Nobel economist Joseph Stiglitz focused on price stabilization and speculation).

The silver lining is that persistently high prices of oil and coal fuels development of cleaner alternatives. But what if oil and coal prices are artificially high because of speculation? What will happen to the alternative energy developers who based their feasibility studies on wrong relative price projections?

Granting that a few players have cornered the futures market, they still take large risks, especially if a spate of good Read the rest of this entry »

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Why ‘Oplan Peninsula’ was doomed from the start

Posted by commiedyan on November 30, 2007

by Old Spice

Faulty analysis and poor planning doomed the rebellion led by Senator Antonio Trillanes and Gen. Danilo Lim from the very beginning. Our conclusion is based on copies of documents recovered from the Manila Peninsula last night and accounts from our sources in Malacañang.

The first sign that something was awry was the absence of crowds when the two former military officers arrived at the hotel shortly before noon yesterday. Because of the drizzle, supporters of the duo stayed at home or in their offices, opting to give only ‘moral’ support. This in turn accounted for why the various commands which ‘were in on the plan’ stayed in barracks, as the support was conditional on the presence of massive civilan support.

But what really put the nail in the coffin of ‘Oplan Peninsula’ was something else. According to Cerge Remonde, who requested anonymity, there was a palpable sense of restlessness when the cabinet convened shortly after 1:30 p.m. Even with the government’s unquestioned superiority of force, Remonde said, some cabinet officials were simply tired of the never-ending calls for resignation and were prepared to ask the president to let go for the sake of the economy. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in analysis, Malacañang, politics, security | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »