The Philippine Onion

Lies and half-truths shall set you free

Posts Tagged ‘kangaroo court’

Philip Alston:The blind and pesky Australian

Posted by commiedyan on November 28, 2007

by Onionista

What’s wrong with Philip Alston? According to Malacañang chief of staff Eduardo Ermita, he could shed crocodile tears and blood before the UN special rapporteur on human rights and still fail to convince the expert of the country’s sterling record on human rights. The blind can probably see better than Alston, Ermita said in a press briefing in Malacañang yesterday.

The ‘intelligence’ agencies of government, including the National Intelligence Coordinating Agency (NICA) under the wing of Norberto Gonzales and the Intelligence Service of the Armed Forces of the Philippines (Isafp-Esperon wing) had linked the recent spate of forced disappearances of left-wing activists to a purge conducted by the Maoist insurgency in the late 80’s and early 90’s, in an apparent bid to harass congressmen sympathetic to the National Democratic Front.

“He should just use his imagination and not question the chronology of events,” Gonzales and Esperon protested to TPO over dinner last night. “What does he want us to do? Admit that the insurgency is a bogey to justify our perks and reason for being?” TPO has learned that Gonzales has a confidential long-term plan to drive the legal Left back to the hills because they cannot be coopted by the idea that political power can grow out of the pork barrel of a gun. Once back in the mountains, they can be more easily bombed into Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in analysis, foreign affairs, Malacañang, politics, security | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Sydney court cites kangaroo for contempt

Posted by commiedyan on November 14, 2007

by Juan Mercado Howard

TPO Sydney bureau

Magistrates in Sydney today granted the motion for continuance filed by plaintiffs in a wild wildlife suit after a kangaroo named Martha hopped into the courtroom and disrupted proceedings.

The marsupial pled innocent of contempt but was released on her own recognizance despite protests by the solicitors Pablo John Garcia, Ruben Carranza Jr., Joel Bontuyan, and Harry Roque, representing the Worldwide Fund for Nature and the Environment (WWF) and Conservation International (CI), that she was a flight risk and prone to jump bail.

Martha came a day early, Carranza, who subpoenaed her as a hostile witness, said. “I don’t want to go back to the outback,” Martha told TPO.

Talk about kangaroo justice, Carranza whispered to reporters on his way out of the courtroom.

Posted in briefly noted, Nature | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »