The Philippine Onion

Lies and half-truths shall set you free

Posts Tagged ‘miriam defensor santiago’

Asian lady senator abducted, released in London

Posted by commiedyan on December 9, 2007

London (Reuters)—A prominent lady senator from Asia was reported missing at dawn here Saturday but surfaced dazed and half-naked in the lobby of the Britania Intercon in Grosvenor Square around noon today. Sources in the intelligence community said the senator had been under surveillance by agents of MI5 and MI6 and that she was actually arrested inside the British Museum where she suddenly burst into laughter before an exhibit of Egyptian artifacts, terrorizing other visitors. Only the timely and expert intervention of the curator prevented a stampede, according to our source who identified himself as JB. The British Official Secrets Act bars Reuters from publishing her name or nationality. Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted in breaking news, foreign affairs, people, politics | Tagged: , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Magdalo offer $100 reward for ‘kick me out’ sticker on Arroyo

Posted by commiedyan on December 2, 2007

by Mon Tofu

Responding to the government’s offer of P1 million for information aiding the capture of renegade Capt. Nicanor Faeldon, the underground Magdalo, composed of active and inactive military officers, has offered its own reward: $100 for any overseas Filipino worker who could tack a ‘kick me out sign’ on Gloria Arroyo’s back during her seven-day visit to Europe. In addition, the OFW would also be entitled to $100 worth of mobile phone credits available for global roaming.

The most recent rebel military adventure has drawn mixed reactions in the country and worldwide. Those arrested are still awaiting a decision by the justice department on whether the charges filed by police have probable cause. Faeldon has been charged in absentia.

The Philippine Daily Inquirer quoted Arroyo’s statement before she left last night: “I hereby direct all our government departments and agencies, especially our security and defense forces, to remain vigilant and flush out any remaining threats to national security and public safety in the country, while at the same time restoring among our people a state of normalcy and calm.”

According to Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago, the Magdalo reward comes from the Makati Business Club, and the phone credit was pledged by Globe Telecoms, lending credence, she said, to suspicions that the coup plotters are being financed by big business. She also called Oplan Peninsula a “harebrained idea hatched by narcissistic fungus-faced attention-grabbing lollipop-sucking nonbreast-fed amateurs.” We tried but failed to reach MBC executive director Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in briefly noted, Malacañang, politics, security | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Miriam goes gaga again, shoos, calls reporter crazy

Posted by commiedyan on November 19, 2007

“Wait till you get assasinated…and then you can investigate whether it was an assasination or an act of terrorism.”

Thus did Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago dismiss doubts of administration critics over the official police theory that the blast in the Batasan was a plot to assasinate Rep. Akbar of Basilan, punctuating the remark with that big inimitable laugh of hers.

The Philippines has the highest number of amateur detectives per capita in the world, she said, adding that these detectives automatically consider the police prime suspects in sensational crimes.

We sought an interview with her over allegations that during her time as a high-profile immigration commissioner, the rights of suspects were routinely violated. But she said she was on her way to her therapist. We asked if we could watch the session. “Go away! You’re crazy!” she said. Talk about the pot giving the kettle the benefit of the doubt.

Posted in briefly noted, congress, politics, security | Tagged: , , , | 12 Comments »