The Philippine Onion

Lies and half-truths shall set you free

Posts Tagged ‘philippine economy’

TPO’s IPO oversubscribed, underpriced—Morgan Stanley

Posted by commiedyan on December 7, 2007

The management has authorized us to release the following information:

  1. Some weeks back we disclosed there was a bloody squabble between our CEO and CFO, each with sizable blocs of equity. Finally the staff managed to kick out the two and we now own the controlling shares.
  2. We also disclosed that management was hiring Rhona Tan, estranged wife of Ron Nathan, cousin of the unlamented Dante Tan. At the time we said we had also wanted to engage the services of John Mangun, if not for the lack of credibility of bald or balding analysts as bored through our thick skulls by Mahar Mangahas of SwS. Since then, Mangun has bought reasonable doubt (at a reasonable price, we hope) as to the location of his hair. Subsequently, we followed the advise of our lawyers to hire Rhona Tan, Ron Nathan, and John Mangun for the offering.
  3. The Pasig River Development Bank, lead underwriter, has disclosed the following deatils of the issue: Read the rest of this entry »
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Posted in business | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

Faking our way to the First World and beyond

Posted by commiedyan on December 5, 2007

by e-kunomista

As Christmas nears, banks and the Central Bank have been deluged by reports of fake currency in circulation. According to ANC’s Charo Logarta, the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP) normally receives about P100,000 worth of fake bills from commercial banks each month. But what about the fake bills which have thus far not been detected? No one really knows. Before the congressional elections this year, fake P1000, 500, and 100 bills were reported to have been used to buy votes. But so what?

Detecting counterfeit

According to currency experts at the central bank, there is a simple way to ascertain genuine and legal tender with a cheap magnifying glass. Just look under the name Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in analysis, business, economics | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Math lessons for Vic Mangosteen;business lessons from Danding Co(co)juangco

Posted by commiedyan on December 1, 2007

eduardo-cojuangco-jr.jpg

by Henry C. Bollas

Here’s the fruity Vic Mangosteen:

“EDUARDO Cojuangco Jr. borrowed P374 million from Cocobank to acquire the EnriqueZobel block in San Miguel Corp. in December 1983. As of yesterday’s market close, that 20 percent block, which paved the way for Cojuangco to eventually control the region’s largest food, beverage and packaging complex, was already worth about P18.8 billion, representing a 50-fold return in 24 years. Stated another way, Cojuangco saw his original investment, even during his exile years following the Marcos ouster, double every year.”

“San Miguel was trading at P22 a share when the hush-hush sale was being negotiated; Zobel, for still unknown reasons, did not seek any premium from Cojuangco for his block, according to the book, Boss Danding, by Earl G. Parreno.”

Hey thanks for the lesson Mangosteen, but your math is wrong and perhaps your politics is even Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in business, economics, people, politics, Roxas watch | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »