The Philippine Onion

Lies and half-truths shall set you free

Posts Tagged ‘press freedom’

Why we spend mornings with ANC

Posted by commiedyan on December 4, 2007

But please Maria Ressa, tell us it’s not true

by Old Spice

Some viewers might wonder how the producers and hosts are able to squeeze so much news, opinion and infotainment in two and a half hours. I wonder too, but that doesn’t stop me from enjoying Mornings at ANC.

First of all, the show starts with giggling, and then an enumeration of the headlines and then more giggling, then laughter, then more giggling. That’s the A-Team for us: Ricky Carandang, Marieton Pacheco, TJ Manotoc, and Gretchen Fullido, the giggliest and youngest of the four. We enjoy watching other people enjoy doing what they do best: telling us the sorry state of our nation’s affairs with a giggle. And believe me, the giggling is contagious and our neighbors have been wondering if we’re crazy like Miriam Santiago.

Secondly, the hosts of the show have a magic chemistry. They switch from one to the other to different subjects and giggle. Somehow viewers can’t help imagining the imaginable. Who of the four are ____? Who’s playing footsie with whom? Hey that’s none of our business.

What’s been bothering me are the sudden shifts in balance of the hosts on their Read the rest of this entry »

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Our disappearing civil liberties, or why some liberties are greater than others, especially if you have been forced to disappear

Posted by commiedyan on December 4, 2007

by Onionista

Speaking with her now legendary candor and sincerity, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo said she was sorry about the sorry plight of reporters who had been cuffed and bussed off to Bicutan for ‘processing.’ “I am sorry,” said she as her nose glowed even with the bright lights in the Malacanang press briefing room. Just a few hours later, around 20 million Filipinos were placed under house arrest in Metro Manila and adjacent regions with what former UP law dean Raul Pangalangan said was an unconstitutional 12-5 a.m. curfew. The streets of the capital were eerier than on Good Fridays in a country dominated by nominally devout Catholics. Only the lord, if there is a lord, knows how many agogo dancers, carnappers, akyat-bahay gangsters, hotblooded teenagers, restless and bored husbands, matronas and their dance attorneys, balut vendors, wanderlustful congressmen had their freedom of movement curtailed, with dire consequences not only for the formal and informal sectors of the economy, but also on the freedom-seeking human spirit.

The ubiquitous checkpoints prompted a variation of the second law of cartoon physics: Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until a checkpoint appears, in which case kotong will have to be paid for the body to regain its momentum. If no kotong is paid, the body will disappear until a writ of amparo makes it reappear.

More recently, the Criminal Investigation and Detection Group (CIDG) subpoenaed Maria Ressa of ABS-CBN to investigate the network’s alleged involvement in Oplan Peninsula. The subpoena was served after Malacañang, taking liberties with the word ‘dialogue’ proposed a meeting between the PNP/AFP and the press. Ressa has reportedly sent a conciliatory text message to interior and local government secretary Ronnie Puno: go fuck and talk Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in analysis, congress, foreign affairs, Malacañang, media, security, special reports | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »