The Philippine Onion

Lies and half-truths shall set you free

Posts Tagged ‘protests’

Palace stirred but not shaken by CPP/NPA attack

Posted by commiedyan on November 9, 2007

As thousands marched and joined the card-posting-protest with nice police around (CPP/NPA) organized by the Black and White movement (B&WM) at noon yesterday, the national security cluster in the palace was convened to assess the threat. Traffic was not unduly disrupted because of the cooperation of the Makati police, who expressed support for the action.At exactly 15 minutes past noon, the disciplined protesters marched from the staging area at the base of the Aquino monument on Ayala and Paseo avenues to the Makati Central Post Office just 400 meters away, where they were welcomed by postal employees who could not hide their pleasure at the record-breaking patronage. In fact, one of them signed a card for posting by TPO. The cards are to serve as notices of eviction to GMA as the Pinoy Big Briber.

Seen at the march were Enteng Romano, Dan Songco, Lea Navarro, Manolo Quezon, Karen Tanada of B&WM; Berthie Lim of the Makati Business Club; former UP vice president Ma. Serena Diokno with a small contingent from Diliman; Butch Abad of the Liberal Party; and Raffy Albert of Akbayan.

Not shown in photo are Babalu, Panchito, and Nida Blanca.

TPO’s laser-guided automatic crowd estimator placed attendance at between 250 and 10,000, but we manually counted only 249. Thus we take our best unbiased estimate to be the median, 5,125, as the correct figure we will defend to the death. Manolo has a more conservative estimate.

Also seen at the scene were Dolphy (much trimmer since we last saw him) and a trio who resembled Panchito, Babalu and Nida Blanca. Our photographer swears she took their photos but only the background remained after the images were downloaded to our server. We were however, able to verify the presence of Maurice Arcache, there ostensibly to greet his palanggas, including Gretchen Barreto and a group of socialites we could not identify.

“This is a good sign,” Romano told TPO, “signifying convergence in the sentiments of the various classes in society.”

Nowhere to be found were the lead actors of Postcards from the Edge, the acclaimed movie in Manolo Quezon’s mind. Perhaps our sources lied to us. Or maybe we lied. We are still investigating ourselves. But Dinky Soliman, in an e-mail to TPO, insisted it was she and not a lookalike who was seen with the stars at the NAIA Thursday night. She said she was back in Phnom Penh where she helped distribute protest shirts to a group of Filipinos who marched to the Philippine embassy.

In the Palace later in the afternoon, presidential management staff chief Cerge Remonde told TPO that the honest and hard-working GMA liked the postcard design. However, she vetoed the suggestion of chief of staff Eduardo Ermita that the cards be read one by one in the next cabinet meeting so GMA could show her openness and sincerity, after dismissing suggestions by her national security adviser, Norberto Gonzales, that the cards could be laced with anthrax. “That will set a bad precedent!” she allegedly said, banging the table. “I will not tolerate any further distraction from the serious business of governing.”

She then directed press secretary Ignacio Bunye to closely monitor foreign press reports on the protest, which was covered among others by Washington Pest managing editor Victor Woodward and New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd, and Pepa Bueno of TVE.

cpp activists await their turn to buy stamps

photos by Ai_ai Sy Yu

Posted in politics | Tagged: , , , | 12 Comments »

TPO exclusive: Streep, Hackman,MacLaine to join anti-GMA protest; to post cards from Makati (updated)

Posted by commiedyan on November 8, 2007

Meryl Streep, Gene Hackman, and Shirley MacLaine, along with former social welfare secretary Dinky Soliman arrived unannounced last night aboard a Vietnam Airlines flight from Phnom Penh, TPO has confirmed. The four will join leaders of the Black and White movement in the posting-cards-protest set for Friday in Makati.

TPO has also learned that postal employees, with the encouragement of Hector Villanueva, president of the Philippine Postal Corporation, which recently celebrated its centennial, would join the protest. Villanueva told us (sorry Hector but we never agreed to your request for anonymity) the protest demonstrates the continuing relevance of snail mail in the internet age. “I also can’t deny it’s a novel way of hectoring GMA,” he said over the phone.

Immigration agents are conducting a vigorous search for the three stars to serve them deportation orders hastily issued by the dictionally challenged immigration commissioner Marcelo Libanan upon orders of Malacanang, put on edge over the reports. We also learned that chief of staff Eduardo Ermita, in another indication that he is no longer in the good graces of GMA, has been tasked to count the postcards on arrival.

(Sorry guys but we can’t help you. All we can say is that from the airport, the four motored straight to the house of Manolo Quezon but left after an hour-long meeting to which not even Dolly Carvajal was invited).

Soliman, who is now based in Cambodia under a consultancy with the World Bank, had asked the stars to join her there for a few days en route to Manila.

TPO will be covering the event live via broadband services provided free by ZTE.


We finally managed to reach Soliman, who told us the idea of inviting the leads of the movie that inspired Manolo came after bar-hopping in Phnom Penh, from The Heart of Darkness, to Apocalypse Now, and finally Happy Happy Pizza, where she came under some good influence. “I didn’t expect them to respond, but gosh…they all think Gloria is a clone of George W.” she added.

Meryl Streep has also e-mailed us: “She does look like the mother of The Manchurian Candidate.”

Posted in entertainment, politics, Uncategorized | Tagged: , | 5 Comments »