The Philippine Onion

Lies and half-truths shall set you free

Archive for the ‘media’ Category

A piece of our mind

Posted by commiedyan on December 10, 2007

Here’s a movie review we would have wanted to write ourselves on Lions for Lambs (produced by sheep), a fitting one for International Human Rights Day:

“The title of the movie Lions for Lambs is based on comment by a German General in World War I – he admired the British troops who were dying in the trenches, and held their officers in contempt. The movie tries to honor our troops while condemning the current crop of wars, politicians, and media”.

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Posted in foreign affairs, media, security | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Why we spend mornings with ANC

Posted by commiedyan on December 4, 2007

But please Maria Ressa, tell us it’s not true

by Old Spice

Some viewers might wonder how the producers and hosts are able to squeeze so much news, opinion and infotainment in two and a half hours. I wonder too, but that doesn’t stop me from enjoying Mornings at ANC.

First of all, the show starts with giggling, and then an enumeration of the headlines and then more giggling, then laughter, then more giggling. That’s the A-Team for us: Ricky Carandang, Marieton Pacheco, TJ Manotoc, and Gretchen Fullido, the giggliest and youngest of the four. We enjoy watching other people enjoy doing what they do best: telling us the sorry state of our nation’s affairs with a giggle. And believe me, the giggling is contagious and our neighbors have been wondering if we’re crazy like Miriam Santiago.

Secondly, the hosts of the show have a magic chemistry. They switch from one to the other to different subjects and giggle. Somehow viewers can’t help imagining the imaginable. Who of the four are ____? Who’s playing footsie with whom? Hey that’s none of our business.

What’s been bothering me are the sudden shifts in balance of the hosts on their Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in entertainment, language, media | Tagged: , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Our disappearing civil liberties, or why some liberties are greater than others, especially if you have been forced to disappear

Posted by commiedyan on December 4, 2007

by Onionista

Speaking with her now legendary candor and sincerity, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo said she was sorry about the sorry plight of reporters who had been cuffed and bussed off to Bicutan for ‘processing.’ “I am sorry,” said she as her nose glowed even with the bright lights in the Malacanang press briefing room. Just a few hours later, around 20 million Filipinos were placed under house arrest in Metro Manila and adjacent regions with what former UP law dean Raul Pangalangan said was an unconstitutional 12-5 a.m. curfew. The streets of the capital were eerier than on Good Fridays in a country dominated by nominally devout Catholics. Only the lord, if there is a lord, knows how many agogo dancers, carnappers, akyat-bahay gangsters, hotblooded teenagers, restless and bored husbands, matronas and their dance attorneys, balut vendors, wanderlustful congressmen had their freedom of movement curtailed, with dire consequences not only for the formal and informal sectors of the economy, but also on the freedom-seeking human spirit.

The ubiquitous checkpoints prompted a variation of the second law of cartoon physics: Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until a checkpoint appears, in which case kotong will have to be paid for the body to regain its momentum. If no kotong is paid, the body will disappear until a writ of amparo makes it reappear.

More recently, the Criminal Investigation and Detection Group (CIDG) subpoenaed Maria Ressa of ABS-CBN to investigate the network’s alleged involvement in Oplan Peninsula. The subpoena was served after Malacañang, taking liberties with the word ‘dialogue’ proposed a meeting between the PNP/AFP and the press. Ressa has reportedly sent a conciliatory text message to interior and local government secretary Ronnie Puno: go fuck and talk Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in analysis, congress, foreign affairs, Malacañang, media, security, special reports | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Controversial Standard columnist bags 2 honors in Catholic Mass Media Awards (GE)

Posted by commiedyan on November 16, 2007

“I’m sorry for my apology, I didn’t mean it.”—Malu Fernandez

by The Small and Medium at Large

MALU FERNANDEZ, lifestyle writer of Manila Standard Today and People Asia magazine, garnered yesterday two prestigious honors from the Catholic Mass Media Awards-Gifted Edition (CMMA-GE; usually held three weeks after the awards for ordinary journalists) at the Araneta coliseum. After earning the ire of overseas Filipino workers for two articles she wrote earlier this year, Fernandez offered to resign from the two publications. She was asked to stay.

Citing Fernandez for outstanding courage, candor, and wit beyond the call of duty, the awards body gave her the second prize for lifestyle/travel for “Are you a stinky linky? Or do you smell like a divalicious babe?” (MST, April 16). “From Boracay to Greece” published in PA (June 2007), copped the top prize in the same category. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in media | Tagged: , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

TPO responds to impecunious ex-PDI columnist

Posted by commiedyan on November 13, 2007

by Unsagani Ambut

Vic Mangosteen, who has been driven to peddling a nutritional extract from the fruit bearing his name, has trained his guns on TPO. Apparently, income from his fruity cock and bull (and his PR work) in a sub-standard daily and in his own web site, with its pathetic ads has not been enough. If you recall, he was unceremoniously driven out of PDI after he famously drenched the activist RC Constantino with a glass of water during a forum on charter change where RC exploded into one of his monologues in front of the House speaker.

Thereafter, allegations of unethical behavior, mainly his PR work, surfaced, leading to his forced resignation from the paper he worked so loyally with since its founding in 1985. We were also told that RC sought the help of Joel Rocamora, who flew with him to Siquijor to have a spell cast on Mangosteen.

We know what he wants from us, but we will not give in. In fact, we admit that the rumors he has been peddling about us are true. There is a nasty boardroom squabble in TPO, but this has not affected editorial operations at all, although the staff has had to suffer delayed salaries and a shortage of supplies. But we are driven more by the roots of our principles rather than the rotten fruit from the poisoned tree he lusts for.

Mangosteen is also right that our CEO and CFO are being investigated on their citizenship and on possible violations of the anti-dummy law. We in the editorial staff are cooperating and have told the SEC investigators that even if the two were to be eventually kicked out of the board and their executive responsibilities, we will survive. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in media, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

ANC cub reporter nabbed in Malacanang, charged with bribery

Posted by commiedyan on November 12, 2007

Willard Cheng!, ANC cub reporter and TPO stringer, was arrested by presidential security guards at 8:30 this morning for allegedly giving P50 to a palace gate sentry who allowed him entry without the appropriate pass. Cheng was following a hot lead on the distribution of loot bags in mid-October. Pfc. Juanito S. Dalidayon has been arrested for disloyalty and graft while Cheng has been charged with trespassing complexed with bribery, press secretary Ignacio Bunye said on government TV. “We will not tolerate corruption in our mission to build a strong state,” he added.

TPO and ANC appealed for support from the Philippine National Press Club (PNPc), saying the incident was a clear transgression of press freedom. But we were simply told “No one is above the law.” We also learned that the PNPc board has issued a resolution supporting the president’s ‘adherence to the rule of law” and acknowledging the legitimacy of the state’s police power over thought.

Bunye later retracted his televised statement.

“Accept it,” TPO editors advised Cheng when he called us to say Ronnie Puno had offered him a wad of depreciated $100 bills to forget about the incident. TPO management will issue an official receipt and will not be returning calls from the Philippine National Press Club.

Posted in breaking news, briefly noted, media, police blather | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

BBC’s Tim Sebastian rejects ANC offer, paving way for Dean Bocobo

Posted by commiedyan on November 1, 2007

by The Small and Medium at Large

In the past weeks, ANC news director Maria Ressa has been in secret talks with the Beeb’s Tim Sebastian, unceremoniously kicked out from Hard Talk and replaced by Stephen Sackur for undisclosed reasons.

Ressa has been looking for a host who would take no bull from guests. While most anchors (Ricky Carandang, Pia Hontiveros, Manolo Quezon, to name a few) of ANC have been improving in skill, they still do not make the cut for Maria Ressa. They are too young and polite, and at times plainly gullible.

Sebastian had a long line of demands, ranging from a chartered jet to the country every week to luxurious accommodations.

All these benefitted Dean Bocobo, but he also has demands ANC finds too expensive to fulfill.

For one, Dean wants the saxophonist John Klemmer, who has declined the offer because of the requirement that he act as comedian too.

Two, Dean wants a band ala David Letterman’s.

On the part of the Lopezes, they are understandably disturbed by persistent rumors that Bocobo might have secret links to the Rizalist cults from the Visayas and Mindanao.

Posted in media | Tagged: | 7 Comments »